[he starts to speak, but cuts himself off, frustrated. reaches out to grab the front of thancred's shirt, hand fisting into the material, but-- he doesn't push him away. he doesn't make any more contact, either, just... holds there.]
...you'd hate being a healer, you know. [a little quieter.] Both of us knew-- we had to learn, early on, what it meant to save as many people as you could. Triage. Managing resources. Losing some to save others. There's never... there are no miracles, in war, you never get to save everyone. We knew.
no subject
[he starts to speak, but cuts himself off, frustrated. reaches out to grab the front of thancred's shirt, hand fisting into the material, but-- he doesn't push him away. he doesn't make any more contact, either, just... holds there.]
...you'd hate being a healer, you know. [a little quieter.] Both of us knew-- we had to learn, early on, what it meant to save as many people as you could. Triage. Managing resources. Losing some to save others. There's never... there are no miracles, in war, you never get to save everyone. We knew.
He was always worse at it.