I wanted to die.

[he murmurs, shaking his head again.]

I did. I didn't know how to live-- he saved me more than once, I started off living for his sake, how was I supposed to just go on without him? Every time they said I was lucky to be alive I just wanted to scream. But-- he gave his life for mine.

[he couldn't give up so easily, couldn't do anything about it.]

I learned how to, eventually. Managed to carry on for other reasons. But I don't... it's the hardest thing I've ever had to do, living after that.