[He nods. It almost feels like a lifetime ago... that frustration, the desperation.]
Over the years, I've traveled across the land, seeking out sorcerers, chimera researchers, healers... At present, there is no known way to unmake a chimera.
I have to find a way to do something that no one has ever done before.
[said with the exact sort of tired amusement of someone who knows how exhausting that actually is to chase. just invent new methods no problem...]
...you sound like you've retained your own sense of self despite that fusion, though. In that case there still should be some way to separate you from... well, from what isn't.
... Twisted as he was, the man who did this to me was a genius. Most chimeras are unstable... their minds or bodies break down before long. The conflict between differing wills is too great. But rock golems are constructs built only to answer commands -- they have no will of their own. And blow demons are weak-minded creatures that lack the intelligence or malevolence of pure demons.
I believe he intentionally made this body in a way that ensured the human mind would remain intact.
I can understand that. I wouldn't say you should accept it, not if it doesn't feel like your own.
[if the mood were lighter he might make a crack about being blue and pointy-eared not being so bad (he would know, after all), but it really doesn't feel like the time.]
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Over the years, I've traveled across the land, seeking out sorcerers, chimera researchers, healers... At present, there is no known way to unmake a chimera.
I have to find a way to do something that no one has ever done before.
no subject
[said with the exact sort of tired amusement of someone who knows how exhausting that actually is to chase. just invent new methods no problem...]
...you sound like you've retained your own sense of self despite that fusion, though. In that case there still should be some way to separate you from... well, from what isn't.
no subject
[It's a hope he needs to hold on to.]
... Twisted as he was, the man who did this to me was a genius. Most chimeras are unstable... their minds or bodies break down before long. The conflict between differing wills is too great. But rock golems are constructs built only to answer commands -- they have no will of their own. And blow demons are weak-minded creatures that lack the intelligence or malevolence of pure demons.
I believe he intentionally made this body in a way that ensured the human mind would remain intact.
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[after a few moments of studying him, though, he adds:]
...if you worry about it seeming 'wretched' to others, I think it's an impressive enough body. You still have a nice face, you know.
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[bitterly.
...
he gets quiet at those words of reassurance.]
... I still can't accept this face, no matter what.
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[if the mood were lighter he might make a crack about being blue and pointy-eared not being so bad (he would know, after all), but it really doesn't feel like the time.]
But I do think it's true, regardless.