Inadvertently. I...as it was explained to me after, the results of what had happened to me gave my much more scholarly colleagues the clues they needed to progress forward.
[So yes. He really did kind of save everyone.]
Dynamis draws its power from emotion. Or...something like that. My emotion was strong enough to overpower hers. So long as my desire for them to survive remained stronger than her desire to claim them...that landscape existed, and could support life.
The very ground on which they stood. The air they had to breathe. [He draws a slow breath.] It endured for them, so long as my resolve did.
No. I survived this — we all did. Because it didn't end with just me. Every time the group sought to advance, one of them had to give themselves up to make the path for the rest. One by one, the lot of us, until all that remained was the redheaded girl with the staff.
Before we'd embarked for Ultima Thule, our patron goddess had given her power sufficient to call us all back to her side, if she'd so desired it. And yet she couldn't, because to call us back — me back — would be to unmake everything we'd formed of our hopes and dreams. An unwinnable situation.
[He shrugs, like he's trying to turn the conversation lighthearted and doesn't quite succeed at it.]
But leave it to her to find a way regardless. She's rather a knack for it.
-you were all forced to leave her alone to do it, in the end.
[it's a horrifying thought, to go through something like that. to be trying to accomplish something on that level, and to lose all of your support one person at a time.
he doesn't think he could do it.]
She must be strong, then, to have managed something like that.
Strong and clever. She found aid to call for that didn't involve dragging us back.
[And because said aid is a massive bottom who always comes running for his friend even when he's pretending they're divorced, it worked out.]
And when that aid had secured all the influence we'd given ourselves for, then she was able to rescue us. So no. It was a close thing — but I didn't perish at Ultima Thule. We won. And we all went home.
[And maybe in another time and place, he would boast or laugh or say something typically cocky and commonplace for him, but this time, Thancred just nods slowly, a gentle rise and fall of his chin. It sounds so different in someone else's words. So rare, when he's failed so much and carried the burdens of so many guilts and sins, to save everything and everyone, just the once.
But then, when the follow-up comes, he does chuckle under his breath.]
My heart stopped. Gave out, one night, in my sleep.
[He closes his eyes.]
That time when Nav hit me. I mentioned it brought back a powerful memory of something, didn't I?
[...oh. oh, no. his ears twitch at that, as he frowns.]
After all of that, just... natural causes? At your age? But you-
[he looks slightly distressed at this thought, actually, tamping down hard on the urge to ask if he's had any history of complications. any family history. any sign, anything, that might give him an idea of whether it's treatable.
....he can't think like that, he just can't, it's not-- this isn't his to fix.]
— pushed myself too hard, too far, too many times. I've always demanded much and more of these grizzled old bones; 'tis hardly surprising they finally gave up the ghost.
[He says, softly, oblivious to the train of thought running through Rynlan's mind but astute enough to pick up on the concerns.]
'Tis one of the reasons I like it when you reach for me. Feeling your touch reminds me of being alive, hale and hearty and whole.
Don't-- stop talking about yourself that way, you're not nearly old enough for it to be expected.
[his hands shift, one moving from the lapel of thancred's coat to rest over his heart-- but then when he speaks again, ryn's fingers twitch, like he's about to reflexively pull his hand away. like hearing that stings him, somehow, an unexpected little jolt.
he leaves it where it is.]
You're alive enough here. You don't need me for that.
[It's the touch to his hair that gets him, really. Kisses are all well and good, but any manner of sentiment can be attached to them, even when it's little to no sentiment at all. But Ryn could've kissed him without the extra contact — has done it before, could easily do it again — and yet.]
Did you...? Clever of you. But then, I am the fool of the two of us.
[He lets out a slow breath, tipping his chin until their foreheads bunt together gently.]
[he's quiet for a few moments, seemingly content to rest there-- thinking, maybe, though from this close it's hard to see his expression to be certain of it. there's no sound except for his breath, until he finally says-]
You're going to have to use a few more words than that, Thancred.
...no. No, we're not, but I- don't know what I'd be going back to, after the way I died.
I don't remember if I mentioned what our ties to the Void are like. That we hear its whispers in our minds, just-- constantly. It's something we had to learn to tolerate and resist, but we're already in deeper than most when it comes to drawing from the Void, it's...
[he pauses, hesitant.]
It's easy to delve too deep. I avoided it for a good while. But once you go too far it's not a matter of resisting, anymore, you-- can't.
Then to get away from it...far away from it...is that something you'd want?
[ryn would you like to leave your home mmorpg and download critically acclaimed competitor final fantasy fourteen with an expanded free trial which you can play through the entirety of a realm reborn and the award-winning heavensward expansion up to level 60 for free with no restrictions on playtime?]
Because if you think you might, then I have a condition.
...I don't know, to be honest with you. I've seen at least one other planet, I'm-- it would have been possible for me to do. But the Void is still connected to all of those worlds. I'm not the only one here who recognizes something like it, either. Even if there were a way to leave home like that, even if I decided I could turn my back on it, I don't know if it would be enough.
[his hair tentacles wriggle a little anxiously, because there's also:]
And without the presence of the Void, I don't have any power, either.
[hahaha oh no. his ears twitch, and for a few moments he can't quite figure out what to say-- feels a little lightheaded, at the thought. they've known each other very little time, comparatively, if they weren't dead they'd have different lifespans-- he's just learned thancred died of a heart attack, of all things, entirely too young. could just die of one within another year or two even if he gets out of hell.
all he can think about is going through everything all over again. getting too close and experiencing all of that loss again. he feels, he thinks, like he's forgotten how to breathe.]
[There are two things that sort of betray Ryn's moment of panic here. One is that Thancred knows enough to expect the significance of it all to shake him to the core. The second is that they're still so close that he can hear it when he stops breathing.]
There are alchemists in Thavnair that work feats barely short of miracles, whose studies found a means of shielding against something that sounds rather similar to the way you describe your voidcall. There are scholars in Sharlayan who would give much and more for the chance to obtain the wisdom of an academic from a wholly different star. We have guilds that would induct a new member in an instant. We have ancient civilizations just waiting to be picked apart and studied. 'Tis a rich and teeming world for one of your talents.
And my condition is that I would only contrive to take you there if you wanted Eitherys for yourself. Not because I would be there. Only if you thought you could be happy there, on its own merits.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[So yes. He really did kind of save everyone.]
Dynamis draws its power from emotion. Or...something like that. My emotion was strong enough to overpower hers. So long as my desire for them to survive remained stronger than her desire to claim them...that landscape existed, and could support life.
The very ground on which they stood. The air they had to breathe. [He draws a slow breath.] It endured for them, so long as my resolve did.
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[to feel so strongly about saving them, about wanting them to live, that it would overpower her--
thancred's a much better person than he is, he's sure.]
Was that how you...?
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Before we'd embarked for Ultima Thule, our patron goddess had given her power sufficient to call us all back to her side, if she'd so desired it. And yet she couldn't, because to call us back — me back — would be to unmake everything we'd formed of our hopes and dreams. An unwinnable situation.
[He shrugs, like he's trying to turn the conversation lighthearted and doesn't quite succeed at it.]
But leave it to her to find a way regardless. She's rather a knack for it.
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[it's a horrifying thought, to go through something like that. to be trying to accomplish something on that level, and to lose all of your support one person at a time.
he doesn't think he could do it.]
She must be strong, then, to have managed something like that.
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[And because said aid is a massive bottom who always comes running for his friend even when he's pretending they're divorced, it worked out.]
And when that aid had secured all the influence we'd given ourselves for, then she was able to rescue us. So no. It was a close thing — but I didn't perish at Ultima Thule. We won. And we all went home.
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You were able to save everything. Everyone.
[soft, maybe slightly awed, though he quickly forces it from his tone.]
If you managed that then what in the world actually succeeded in killing you?
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But then, when the follow-up comes, he does chuckle under his breath.]
My heart stopped. Gave out, one night, in my sleep.
[He closes his eyes.]
That time when Nav hit me. I mentioned it brought back a powerful memory of something, didn't I?
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After all of that, just... natural causes? At your age? But you-
[he looks slightly distressed at this thought, actually, tamping down hard on the urge to ask if he's had any history of complications. any family history. any sign, anything, that might give him an idea of whether it's treatable.
....he can't think like that, he just can't, it's not-- this isn't his to fix.]
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[He says, softly, oblivious to the train of thought running through Rynlan's mind but astute enough to pick up on the concerns.]
'Tis one of the reasons I like it when you reach for me. Feeling your touch reminds me of being alive, hale and hearty and whole.
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[his hands shift, one moving from the lapel of thancred's coat to rest over his heart-- but then when he speaks again, ryn's fingers twitch, like he's about to reflexively pull his hand away. like hearing that stings him, somehow, an unexpected little jolt.
he leaves it where it is.]
You're alive enough here. You don't need me for that.
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I didn't say I needed it.
[He doesn't smile, but there's the implication of it reflected in his eyes even so.]
Though I'd be grateful for a check-over, if you happened to be so inclined.
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I'm retired, you know. And yet here you people are, dragging me back into it.
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[He shakes his head, his usual smile at last returning to his mouth, even as some of it fades from his eyes.]
Never mind — call it a jest, nothing more.
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he reaches up to brush thancred's bangs back from his face, leans down to press a brief kiss to his lips.]
I understood it, don't worry about that.
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Did you...? Clever of you. But then, I am the fool of the two of us.
[He lets out a slow breath, tipping his chin until their foreheads bunt together gently.]
M'not — I don't — I realize...that you. Don't —
[...]
...Selfish of me, I know.
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You're going to have to use a few more words than that, Thancred.
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[He lets that thought hang there a moment, quiet and still.]
Yet here I am, and you've yet to push me away.
[And, one breath of his own later: ]
If we were never here, and this never happened. What would you do?
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...if everything here went well. If what we ended up with, ultimately, was the best-case scenario. What would happen then?
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[...]
Are you still at war, where you...?
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I don't remember if I mentioned what our ties to the Void are like. That we hear its whispers in our minds, just-- constantly. It's something we had to learn to tolerate and resist, but we're already in deeper than most when it comes to drawing from the Void, it's...
[he pauses, hesitant.]
It's easy to delve too deep. I avoided it for a good while. But once you go too far it's not a matter of resisting, anymore, you-- can't.
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[ryn would you like to leave your home mmorpg and download critically acclaimed competitor final fantasy fourteen with an expanded free trial which you can play through the entirety of a realm reborn and the award-winning heavensward expansion up to level 60 for free with no restrictions on playtime?]
Because if you think you might, then I have a condition.
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[his hair tentacles wriggle a little anxiously, because there's also:]
And without the presence of the Void, I don't have any power, either.
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[hahaha oh no. his ears twitch, and for a few moments he can't quite figure out what to say-- feels a little lightheaded, at the thought. they've known each other very little time, comparatively, if they weren't dead they'd have different lifespans-- he's just learned thancred died of a heart attack, of all things, entirely too young. could just die of one within another year or two even if he gets out of hell.
all he can think about is going through everything all over again. getting too close and experiencing all of that loss again. he feels, he thinks, like he's forgotten how to breathe.]
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[There are two things that sort of betray Ryn's moment of panic here. One is that Thancred knows enough to expect the significance of it all to shake him to the core. The second is that they're still so close that he can hear it when he stops breathing.]
There are alchemists in Thavnair that work feats barely short of miracles, whose studies found a means of shielding against something that sounds rather similar to the way you describe your voidcall. There are scholars in Sharlayan who would give much and more for the chance to obtain the wisdom of an academic from a wholly different star. We have guilds that would induct a new member in an instant. We have ancient civilizations just waiting to be picked apart and studied. 'Tis a rich and teeming world for one of your talents.
And my condition is that I would only contrive to take you there if you wanted Eitherys for yourself. Not because I would be there. Only if you thought you could be happy there, on its own merits.
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